As of today my husband has been medically discharged from the army for 5 1/2 months. This blog is a way for me to express how i feel and if someone randomly come across this blog dealing with the same thing as me it might just help them. He has since been diagnosed with not only PTSD but with a TBI (traumatic brain injury) as well. The VA has been hell trying to get him help. It is not an easy task to live with someone who has these awful diagnoses. He is a mean person and pushes everyone away. I have seen my husband punch holes in walls, pass out with no warning, cry for no reason, jump at the sound of a plane in the sky. Everyone walks on eggshells around him. The simplest things set him off. We have two beautiful children who are just absolutely amazing. Today my son decided he wanted to put change into our xbox which broke something as it set him off. he screamed and said some nasty things that should never be said to a child. But what am i suppose to do? i know its not him, he is trapped in a body who has been through hell and back. He has seen dead bodies, people kill themselves, had to kill people to keep our country safe for a war that has no expire date. I tried and tried to find some support group online and look for blog post to help me to see that I'm not the only one dealing with this. This topic of ptsd is so rare and it just seem impossible to every find anyone to tell you that your not crazy, your not the only one that is going through this, that hopefully theirs a light at the end of the tunnel, But as of now i feel so helpless and that the only thing i can do is walk away which is the last thing i want to do. just because he didn't lose a limb or get shot he isn't going through something. I just want my husband back but i know it wont happen over night. This is my blog and my way to vent. None of my friends understand, none of my family know what i go through on a daily basis. So heres to me having my own secret spot to just vent and write what i feel. Thing will get better, maybe not today or tomorrow but the will and that's all i can hope for.
Till next time
The Suffering EX Army Wife
